She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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