i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
how drunk are you?
Several
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize