i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
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