the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
where are you?
Hypothermia
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed π
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those π
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