omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize