dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
