i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
