He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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