whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
