you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize