Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
love makes seman taste better
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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