i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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