it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
