i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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