whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
