after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
