Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize