Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
