do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
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Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
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He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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