My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Terrible idea I love it
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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