Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I need to stop coming to work sober
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
