is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
