if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize