if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
