google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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