it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
