like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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