i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
