I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
