He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Everyone says I win the strip club
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
