real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
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FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
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It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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