Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Randomize
