Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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