capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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