no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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