her vagine was all disorganized.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
