tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
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