look no pants
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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