I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize