The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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