We're like a lot better than the average bears
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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