i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
