Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
