Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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