Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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