i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you inspire me to be a worse person
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
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When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
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I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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