I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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