You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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