I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
