Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
