PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
