smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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