God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
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Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
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I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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