We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
