I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
