Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
