i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
