therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
